Building a Culture of Unconditional Positive Regard
A district administrator shares how school leaders can support all students, including those affected by trauma.
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Ask any administrator about student safety, and they鈥檒l say that it鈥檚 paramount. Yet, between recent conflicts abroad and violence close to home, maintaining a sense of safety is a daunting challenge. Some students and families may be personally affected, while others grapple with new fears and anxieties.
The impacts of early exposure to violence are pervasive and well-documented鈥攕purring compassion fatigue and vicarious secondary trauma for educators teaching these students. Violence disrupts a child鈥檚 neurocognitive development and can lead to , , and .
And while teachers are concerned about their students鈥� well-being, they may and feel less prepared to support (ACEs). These compounding stressors are contributing to .
Administrators echo this struggle: Supporting students is a . As a special education district administrator working with trauma-impacted students and a survivor of a violent, abusive home, I鈥檝e seen how these issues affect the school climate.
Supporting Students Affected by Trauma
According to Alex Shevrin Venet鈥檚 , unconditional positive regard (UPR) offers one way administrators can foster a community of care, not just one of compliance鈥攚hether or not educators know that a particular student has been affected by violence.聽
Popularized by psychologist Carl Rogers, UPR values each student as a person worthy of wholehearted empathy and acceptance no matter their behavior or circumstances. This equity-centered, trauma-focused approach denotes care toward others as distinct from one鈥檚 own experiences and emotions. When we apply UPR strategies to children who may have been impacted by violence, we facilitate healthier boundary-setting for educators and boost resilience for all students.
Here鈥檚 what that looks like in action.
Lead with narrative, values-focused feedback
When we know a student faces or experiences violence, it鈥檚 easy to default to a deficit mentality: 鈥淚 need to 鈥榝ix鈥� that child.鈥� This approach, however, ties our worth as educators to how the student responds. We also risk excluding students who we may not know need support.聽
For all students, providing narrative, value-focused feedback on behavior shifts this thinking to a supportive, neutral psychological space. Share positive observations as an administrator while walking the halls or visiting classrooms. Be specific in your praise: 鈥淏rynn, your diorama is filled with effort!鈥� Or: 鈥淣evaeh and Avery have their materials out, and their eyes are up front, ready for math. Love it!鈥� You can also praise a group: 鈥淔ifth grade, today鈥檚 lunch went amazing. Everyone demonstrated respect by leaving the tables clean.鈥�
This narration engages all students and reinforces shared community values of hard work, preparedness, and respect while prompting those needing direction鈥攐ften the case with students experiencing trauma鈥攖o pause and self-monitor their behavior. You can refer back to community values when addressing inappropriate behavior: 鈥淭hat鈥檚 not something we do here. I know you鈥檙e capable of doing better.鈥� Taking on a neutral role affirms an active, calming presence to students and staff. When administrators engage in this kind of positive, transformational leadership, teachers .
Build relationships beyond academics
Youth living in violent environments may be facing additional . In school, these students may have an eroded sense of stability, causing wariness of attachment. We may not always know for sure if this is the case with our students, and connecting with them while recognizing our limits removes us from an authority role and reassures students that there are trustworthy, reliable people in their lives, whether or not that is specifically us.
Expressing genuine interest in a student鈥檚 life outside of school separates their identity from their emotions, a crucial step in building resilience. Engaging in casual conversations before school, during bus duty, or at a snack break about a student鈥檚 unique interests uplifts their individuality and reshapes their perceptions around trust. Broad questions like 鈥淗ow was your weekend?鈥� can be triggering and uncomfortable. Ask about favorite music, games, books, and hobbies. Focus on listening rather than coming up with the perfect response in these conversations.
A core concept of UPR is that we serve as caring adults in students鈥� lives but do not hold responsibility for personal adversities. Establishing a relationship with a student, even around a sport or movie, creates a foundation for intervention if a student shows or shares feelings of being unsafe.
Dedicate spaces for emotional regulation
Violence-impacted students, especially in early childhood, might have trouble imagining a safe place. A physical spot denoting safety and belonging actualizes those feelings and can be helpful for any student who needs to regroup. Some districts and state foster care systems have created calming corners or , designated zones where children can process and regulate emotions.
Successful calm rooms . School leaders can helm a group of teachers and related service providers to create a tailored space for your community. Consider cozy seating, soft lighting, breathing posters, sensory tools like art supplies or bubbles, or an area for kids to complete work. While calm rooms are generally self-directed, educators should be present to guide students as needed.
Visible leadership also allows children to observe adults handling and responding to emotions in healthy, productive ways, potentially something they don鈥檛 see at home. Some administrators are to be more accessible to students and staff. Dropping by classrooms, calm rooms, or recess offers opportunities for students to witness administrators effectively communicating and problem-solving. When a child has reference points and dedicated spaces to ground themselves, they build confidence in navigating difficult feelings and circumstances. Practicing UPR in this way also reminds educators that their students can heal.聽
Fostering an environment that nurtures well-being can also have a stabilizing effect on teachers. While in an ideal world schools would have separate adult and student calm spaces, you can explore creative ways to schedule and divide the same space as a calm room for both students and teachers. Accessible, system-wide supports like calm rooms can .
As administrators, we may never know the profound adversities our students face. However, school leaders embracing a culture of unconditional positive regard extend a powerful message of universal empathy and unwavering support to every person in a school community. It鈥檚 an underlying factor that bolsters students鈥� competence, connection, and coping skills鈥攁ll vital to resilience鈥攚hether or not violence is part of their everyday realities. In implementing these strategies, we also uplift the contributions of our teams and alleviate the emotional and mental toll on educators helping all our students thrive.聽