A Practical Guide to Emailing Parents
Knowing when to email parents about an issue and when to schedule a call or in-person meeting is key.
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Like most things in life, email has its ups and its downs. When it comes to teacher-family communication, email can be convenient, quick, and practical. However, emails between teachers and parents or caregivers can waste our time and cause stress and misunderstandings as well.
How do you know when to send an email and when to pick up the phone to have a real-time conversation? To help you decide, categorize your parent communication into three actions like a traffic light:
- Red鈥擠o not email.
- Yellow鈥擨t depends on the situation.
- Green鈥擥o ahead and send.
Consider the following tips from my 2023 book, , to help you decide on the most effective communication action depending on the situation.
RED Light
Don鈥檛 send an email if the topic is serious or sensitive. If you need to contact a parent or another caregiver regarding a serious or sensitive matter such as mental health, extreme behaviors, or academic struggles, a phone call or face-to-face meeting might be the best method to foster a productive discussion. Tone can easily get lost in an email. You may be writing an email about a child鈥檚 behavior with the best intentions of empathy and care, but the parent or caregiver might read it as accusatory or reprimanding. If they can hear your voice and engage in dialogue, the message can be received in a more accurate light.
If you need to have one of these conversations, only use email to set up either a call or a sit-down meeting.
Here鈥檚 a helpful tip I share in the book:
Nowadays with email being the most popular and most convenient mode of communication, it is rare that I will 鈥渃old call鈥� a parent. Instead, I set aside a chunk of time a few days per week for parent calls and emails. When setting up a call, email first with, 鈥淎re you available today between 3鈥�4 p.m. or tomorrow from 9鈥�9:30 a.m. to discuss Ralph鈥檚 recent quiz? What number is best to call?鈥�
This type of email is beneficial in three ways: 1) It eliminates wasting time playing phone tag. 2) The parents have a heads-up and won鈥檛 be caught by surprise. (No one likes an unsolicited phone call.) and 3) The phone call will occur at a predetermined time that works for your schedule.
YELLOW Light
It depends on the situation. As you read the previous section, you might have been bothered by the idea that there was no written documentation of what was discussed. This is a valid concern, and a follow-up email can provide an important paper trail.
Another tip in the book:
Start the practice of sending an email after each phone call or meeting. To keep the admin in the loop, copy the appropriate administrator (CC or BCC depending on the nature of the conversation) summarizing what was discussed and what plan of action each party will take. Here is an example of a follow-up email after a phone call regarding a discipline matter:
鈥淢r. Holland,
鈥淭hank you for taking the time to meet with me today regarding Opus鈥檚 behavior in class. As we discussed, Opus will stay after school tomorrow to clean desks as his consequence for writing on the school furniture. I appreciate your support and collaboration.鈥�
This written follow-up helps you and the administrators keep a record of communication with parents in case another incident occurs again.
Replying to parent or caregiver emails: My school requires educators to reply to parent emails within 24 business hours, ideally before the school day ends. With all of our daily responsibilities, it is not practical or feasible to always reply with a fully formed answer to their requests or questions. Instead, consider replying with a courteous time-staller response like this: 鈥淭hank you for reaching out to me regarding Liesl鈥檚 progress in U.S. history. I will look over her recent tests and essays and get back to you tomorrow or Wednesday.鈥� This time-staller response expresses that you have received the email and plan to research their request, and it buys you a day or two to reply with an informed answer.
Prescheduled progress check-ins: A few times in my teaching career, a parent has requested an email from me every time their child misses an assignment, performs poorly on an assessment, or arrives late to class. Of course, this is unreasonable, but alternatively, I turn the request back onto the parent. I ask them to email me periodically (weekly, ideally) to check in. I can easily reply with a brief update of their child鈥檚 progress that week. This solution seems to satisfy parents and teachers alike.
GREEN Light
Go ahead and send. After reading the red and yellow sections, you might be wondering, 鈥淲hen can I send an email?鈥� Emails are fantastic for quick reminders, mass updates (), and happy notes. One of my favorite things to do on a Friday afternoon is to send a few notes of praise to parents about their child. I check off each student on my roster who receives a happy note so that everyone gets at least one throughout the year. (One caveat here: If a 鈥渜uick鈥� email turns into multiple replies, it might be best to follow up with a call so that you鈥檙e not wasting your time volleying replies back and forth.)
Email can be our friend, but it also can get us into situations that could have been cleared up with a phone call. Use this handy tool wisely, and you will save yourself headaches and precious time.