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Student Engagement

Building Relationships With Students on Positive Words and High Expectations

By affirming students and maintaining high expectations, teachers can solidify good relationships.

January 3, 2024

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鈥淚f we鈥檙e not building to improve, then we may be tearing down鈥 is a concept I鈥檝e heard from others in my fitness journey鈥攖he same applies to the realm of relationships.

In professional development, educators often hear that we must build relationships with students. Still, we鈥檙e not always shown how鈥攚hich creates a disconnect between aspirational ideas and what actually happens in classrooms.

Not everyone initially knows how to build rapport and foster relationships with students. But everyone can learn some of the contributing factors and reflective strategies to help us get started. Relationship building requires a nuanced approach that educators can use to develop insights about the youth they serve. It starts with knowing them as both people and students.

A good place to start can be their academic needs alongside their intrinsic motivations like their goals, interests, and assets. Researcher John Hattie explains that . Doing so can improve how we interact and make instructional decisions.

Teachers can use three quick strategies to gain insights into students鈥 personalities and interests: observation, having informal conversations, and empathy mapping, which can help educators connect with students after gathering pertinent information about them in one simple visual.

Observation and informal conversations rely on to what students say and do during classroom activities and breaks. An 麻豆传媒入口 article by educator Valentina Melnikova provides six more strategies for connecting with students.

Overcoming Challenges and Fostering Connections

In interacting with students, one universal approach won鈥檛 work for all, and neither does hoping for the best. In my coaching work with partner schools, I acknowledge the hurdles that many experience when trying to forge meaningful relationships with kids. Significant obstacles overwhelming educators may include time constraints, heavy workloads, and varying student academic needs to consider when planning lessons.

Careful attention to research and my own experiences lead me to conclude that building deep relationships with every learner may not always be possible. That shouldn鈥檛 deter us. Instead, we can focus on building our classroom culture and better choosing our words to build rapport and foster goodwill.

Moreover, as educators, we can learn to be intentional about exhibiting acceptance, , and kind words even when students do not reciprocate initially. Doing so may sow the seeds of relationship development. Here are two significant factors to consider:

The Impact of Expectations

We have to believe in our students鈥 potential to achieve! To drive this point, I often ask educators with whom I'm codesigning lessons the following: Can our unconscious expectations impact the performance of others? Psychology professor to explore this phenomenon, shedding light on the influence of expectations.

Researchers in a controlled laboratory setting were given rats to run through a maze for a few weeks and record their progress. Despite the rats being identical, researchers were informed that certain rats were either 鈥渧ery smart鈥 or 鈥渧ery unintelligent.鈥

These labels impacted how the experimenters interacted with the rats, which affected how they learned. In a , Rosenthal said, 鈥淲e do know that handling rats and handling them more gently can actually increase the performance of rats.鈥 Remarkably, the rats labeled 鈥渧ery smart鈥 displayed better performance, highlighting how expectations impact learning and interactions.

Luckily, this marvelous effect isn鈥檛 limited to rats; it can extend to humans, too. Other researchers have found that positive expectations can positively affect students鈥 academic scores, teenagers鈥 behaviors, and even soldiers鈥 performance.

Here are two reflective prompts to help us consider how to best improve our expectations:

  1. Reflect on times when your expectations influenced how you interacted with students. What might have been the effect of these expectations on their learning or performance?
  2. Consider when someone鈥檚 positive expectations significantly impacted your engagement and learning outcomes. What can you do to replicate this effect for all your students?

The Impact of Words

Some research shows that . If that鈥檚 true, imagine what kind words can do for kids鈥攖he words we choose matter because they have the potential to uplift and motivate students who need them. Teachers can leverage the goodwill that our positive words foster among students to build the rapport necessary to engage them in learning.

Research supports intentionally using positive words and affirmations to . Other positive effects of affirmations include students鈥 enhanced mindsets about , and .

A video called 鈥溾濃攃reated by Community Independent School District in Nevada, Texas鈥攅xemplifies the immediate positive effects of speaking positivity, such as 鈥淚 believe in you,鈥 to learners across various ages. Please take a moment to watch it before proceeding. Notice how their faces change from frowns or blank expressions to smiles and appreciation. Many educators can鈥檛 avoid shedding a few tears when I play this video in our professional development sessions. I encourage you to try it with your staff鈥攊t doesn鈥檛 disappoint.

Rapper and singer-songwriter Lauryn Hill once said, 鈥淒on鈥檛 be a hard rock when you really are a gem!鈥 Upon viewing the Community ISD video, what she means becomes evident. Youth (all people) are intended to be treated kindly and appreciated, but .

Take a moment to reflect on the words you choose when speaking to students.
Consider a student who may benefit from positivity and encouragement. Identify their exceptional qualities and actions that merit recognition. Consider how you could communicate your appreciation and support to uplift and nurture rapport and connection.

Special thanks to Corcoran Joint Unified School District Superintendent Eduardo Ochoa in Corcoran, California, for exposing me to the powerful research and video shared in this article.

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