麻豆传媒入口

Caring is a finite resource. I learned that from an Ojibwa second grader.

At the beginning of the school year, David (not his real name) would jerk his neck back to flick the bangs out of his light brown eyes and write, 鈥淚 love Mario. I love Mario. I love Mario鈥� to the bottom of the page, and then grin and ask, 鈥淲hat do you think, Mr. Todd?鈥� Some days, the page would be filled with, 鈥淚 love soccer.鈥�

In early October, David stopped playing soccer at recess. When I asked him why, he walked away. Then he stopped writing. Each week, he became more of a ghost, refusing to communicate with me. One day after school, David broke the lock on my desk and stole my stockpile of pens. I caught him selling them, 10 for a quarter. The boy鈥檚 guardians never returned my urgent messages. Meanwhile, a dozen other students in my class were in need.

The day before Thanksgiving break, the administrative assistant noticed David cupping his left ear in the cafeteria. I stopped breathing for a minute, suddenly awake to the fact that my student had been covering his ear all week without me registering that he might be in pain. Nor had I noticed that David鈥檚 previously white T-shirt was the color of oatmeal and smelled like neglect.

When the administrator moved David鈥檚 hand away, we saw that his ear canal had volcanoed into a mound of ooze and black crust. I was horrified by the wound and by my callousness, and ashamed to stand beside a colleague鈥檚 full heart. Kneeling to hug the boy, she looked up at me and mouthed, 鈥淥h my god!鈥�

Fortunately, David flourished with a new guardian and counseling. And while there is no defending criminal disregard for a boy in my care, I now realize that my emotions had narrowed to Ryan Gosling levels after working with children whose temper swings overwhelmed my meager skills.

Symptoms of Secondary Traumatic Stress

Any professional who listens to children recount traumatic experiences is at risk of , the emotional weight that some teachers carry after exposure to children who suffer. According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, secondary traumatic stress degrades our professional effectiveness and overall quality of life. According to Sheri Brown Sizemore, author of , symptoms include anger, cynicism, anxiousness, avoidance, chronic exhaustion, disconnection, fear, guilt, hopelessness, hypervigilance, inability to listen, loss of creativity, poor boundaries, poor self-care, and sleeplessness.

If you recognize these symptoms, complete the , which measures compassion fatigue. Also be aware that there are strategies that can help, like these:

1. Connect with quality friends: Every Thursday morning at 5:30, I show up in a music teacher鈥檚 driveway for a 50-minute 鈥渨alk & talk.鈥� Eddie and I always discuss teaching problems. Besides being a good listener, my friend reminds me that my feelings matter, and that I鈥檓 enough. Regardless of my difficulties, I end the walk feeling emotionally recharged.

2. Write it out: Teaching requires mental and emotional dexterity. When one is weakened, the other is compromised. But writing can help. According to , expressive writing (describing feelings) 鈥溾�榦ffloads鈥� worries from working memory, therefore relieving the distracting effects of worry on cognition.鈥� Set a timer for eight minutes and let it all out on paper.

3.聽Use drive time for self-talk: If I鈥檓 feeling out of sorts while driving to work, I talk about my concerns aloud and in the third person. For example: 鈥淭odd is feeling raw and fragile because of the crying jag that X had yesterday. He鈥檒l be OK today if he doesn鈥檛 get overpowered by X鈥檚 feelings.鈥� This , according to research on third-person self-talk, boosts rationality and improves people鈥檚 鈥渁bility to control their thoughts, feelings, and behavior under stress.鈥� After that, I put Aloe Blacc鈥檚 鈥淭he Man鈥� on full blast and float into my classroom.

4. Avoid toxic colleagues: that toxic co-workers 1) are selfish, 2) display overconfidence, and 3) are found to declare 鈥渆mphatically that the rules should always be followed no matter what.鈥� If a toxic co-worker hangs out in the break room, eat elsewhere with colleagues who smile with their eyes.

5. Do something tangible: To avoid marinating in diminished compassion, recharge by completing a small task鈥攕omething specific and concrete. Run on an elliptical machine for 30 minutes or send a card to a friend. Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, authors of , describe how small victories promote a more positive inner life, which 鈥渁lso leads people to do better work.鈥�

6. Don鈥檛 suppress painful feelings: When I鈥檓 worried about a student, I remember that I don鈥檛 have to be perfect and that there are weeks left to make a difference. 鈥淢astering the ability to is an important tool for increasing your imagination because it unlocks a vast array of solutions.鈥� A good psychotherapist can help you reframe issues, boost your emotional resilience, and enhance your classroom effectiveness.

Finally, don鈥檛 forget the most important thing. 鈥淚t鈥檚 easy to say, 鈥業t鈥檚 not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem,鈥欌�� said Fred Rogers. 鈥淭hen there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes.鈥� Don鈥檛 forget who you are.